Maybe your boyfriend broke up with you; perhaps you ended the relationship. Now, time has passed and you realize you want your ex back. But you can't just snap your fingers and start things over. You have to get your ex boyfriend to want you back. How can you make that happen?
I won't lie -- getting back together with something can be difficult, sometimes even impossible. But if you can pull it off and your relationship blossoms, it's worth it.
Give him space
Blowing up his phone every few minutes, or burying him in text messages isn't the way to go. Although it may seem strange, sometimes having no contact for a while can give him enough space to decompress.
Reflect on why you broke up
You've given him some space, which can be good for him, but is also good for you. It means you have time to distance yourself from this person and the emotionally-charged world of relationships.
In this neutral state, think back to some of the reasons you broke up. Did you two return to the same conflicts time and time again? Did your ex boyfriend often bring up the same complaints? Were these complaints justified and, if so, are you prepared to fix them?
These are all important issues to reflect on before trying to get back together. If you know which things are broken and why, and if you're prepared to fix them, then you stand a shot. If you want to start up things again without changing any part of your relationship, changes are you'll be exes again in no time.
Develop your friendship again
Successful relationships are often built on strong friendships. An excellent partner is also your best friend. After giving each other some space, ease into communication if your ex is open to it. Cultivate your friendship. Demonstrate to each other that you can be good friends, and in the process reveal all the cool things about each other that sparked the attraction in the first place. If you can't sustain a healthy friendship, your dating life will likely be unhealthy, too.
Stay busy
Don't focus all your energy on restarting your old relationship, though. That could make you come across as desperate, which may lower the chances of rekindling your romance. Stay invigorated and balanced by diving into work, school, clubs, or sports. Active, engaged people usually exude a bright, confident energy that is irresistible.
Be honest
It's been a few weeks, even months, since you broke up. You've given him some space, reflected on what went wrong, and developed independent interests. If you're still interesting in pursuing your romance -- and he seems like he may be open to the idea, too -- it's time to open up about what you want. Let him know how you feel.
Getting your ex boyfriend back can take time and patience. Remember, relationships take time to develop, so don't rush into old dating habits if you want to stand a good chance of keeping your boyfriend around for years to come.
