It's a scene that makes most women grimace.
A man strolls over to a woman in a crowded bar. He leans his head forward. Smiles. Then he asks, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
The woman reports no injuries. The man, on the other hand, leaves the exchange with a bruised ego.
Why don't women like these pick-up lines? Why do they shirk from men who produce recycled phrases?
It's because these lines usually come off stiff or, worse case scenario, downright creepy. They're not a good way to pick up women.
There are some things you can say to women that work, though. And they're probably not what you'd expect.
Hi, I'm __________. What's your name?
I know, it seems too easy, doesn't it? No poetry. No allusions to angels. No choirs.
Turns out, the understatement is better than fine. If you're approaching a woman out of the blue, especially in a place like a bar, she can guess your motivations. By keeping the introduction simple and neutral -- in other words, not over-the-top romantic -- it makes the initial exchange low key.
And if she isn't down to talk? No problem. Your casual approach makes it even easier to casually move on.
Make a positive comment about your surroundings.
You're at a movie, an art gallery, or a concert. You see a woman who catches your eye.
When you're close enough, make an off-hand comment about something you're both observing. Keep it upbeat so that her initial impression of you is positive. In some settings this works better than others -- few people want their ear talked off at a movie -- but it's almost always a good way to break the ice with someone.
If they're receptive to you, expect for them to give you an opportunity to hang out more. So, they may linger once the movie is over. Or you may notice them crossing your path during the show more regularly that coincidence usually dictates. And if it comes with occasional eye contact? Congrats, you're in.
Compliment her.
No, I don't mean you should take the opportunity to tell her that you're sure the stars fell from the heavens to collect in her beautiful eyes. Even if you believe that, keep that mum for a while.
Instead, focus on a unique accessory, garment, or something else she's carrying, like a book. It's something she hand selected, so it's an extension of who she is more than what she looks like. Compliments about that stuff tend to go better in the early stages of dating. They're nice to hear, but they're not too forward, either.
One last thing:
More important than what you say is how you say it. If you approach someone confidently, giving off the impression the conversation is a low-pressure, no-big-deal exchange, the woman will probably take it the same way. It will help lower her guard, making it easier to get to the next stage: securing a date.
