Dating Tips for Men: Landing a First Date

For many men, the idea of asking a woman out is nothing short of terrifying. It can make even the bravest men nervous. There is no reason getting a date should be stressful, though. 

Here is how to make it happen.

1.      Remember that women are not from a different planet. Some men approach women like they are from Venus, while men are from Mars. If you want to improve your dating game, toss that divisive mentality aside. When you talk to a woman, you are not talking to the equivalent of an alien. There may be differences between the two of you, as is the case with any person you talk to you, but there are also bound to be a number of similarities. Focus on what you share, not what separates you.

2.      Stop stressing about rejection. Dating is a process. For most people, finding the right person takes hundreds, even thousands, of dates. Incompatibilities arise, life factors force people to take different paths, and feelings change. The sooner you make peace with the fact things might go differently than you originally planned, the better your experience with dating is likely to be.

3.      Get on her radar. Some men are suave and lucky enough to approach a woman out of the blue and get a date out of it, but most women would be pretty stunned by someone so forward. If you are interested in a woman who you see fairly regularly, it is better to get on her radar first. Pay her extra attention, but don't get stuck in a faux-boyfriend role, either. Eventually, check her marital status by asking a question about her husband or boyfriend. She'll get what you're hinting at.

4.      Learn her interests. If you have paid more attention to her than others, fished out her single status, and she still seems warm to you, chances are she is at least somewhat interested. Now it is time to learn about her interests. You will be able to use this information when you ask her out. You have to be careful not to stay in this stage for too long. The longer you act like a platonic friend, the more likely it is that she will only view you that way.

5.      Just do it – ask her out. If the woman you are interested in seems to enjoy your company and is openly available, ask her out. Ask over the phone or, better still, ask her in person. Avoid text messages and e-mail, since most people find them to be impersonal. Keep your question short and simple. Suggest that the two of you do something that you know she would like based on the conversations you held earlier about her interests. Offer a specific time and date. If you leave the question open-ended, you will only have to reinitiate the question sometime in the future.

One of the worst things you can do in the dating game is to anguish over circumstances that are not in your control. With dating, you cannot control another person’s feelings. What you can do, however, is make sure the woman you are attracted to feels comfortable around you and that she is single. If both those things apply, go for it. Ask her out.  

Is a Breakup on the Horizon? 5 Signs He’s Pulling Away

Without warning, you’re beginning to feel distant from your partner. He used to be loving and attentive, but recently he’s been acting more aloof. Is he just busy, or could he be pulling away from you?

It can be difficult to know for sure, especially if you haven’t known a man very long. However, there are signs many men demonstrate when they’re pulling away from a woman. Here are five signs that he’s probably pulling away from you.

1.      Frequency of contact changes dramatically, and without warning. Each man has a different pace and method for communication. Some get in touch a lot, others may not. Some like to hold conversations over the phone regularly, others stick mostly to texting or email. If you have grown accustomed to a communication routine that stops without warning, this could be a bad sign. Men who want to hold on to a woman, but who know they have a rough week of work ahead, are likely to give their partner a heads up that they will be less available in the upcoming days.

2.      Conversations feel uneasy or forced. Be careful if your conversations flowed effortlessly not too long ago, but now they seem stilted and forced. This especially holds true if they seem to have lost any warmth they once had. These problems can also happen if your man has a lot on his mind, unrelated to you, but the longer it lasts, the more reason you could have to be concerned.

3.      Plans go out the window. Every time you suggest plans for the weekend, he makes an excuse. He never seems keen to offer any plans of his own, either. Even very busy men will make time for a woman they love. If his schedule is so packed that nothing can be arranged, it’s likely he’ll be open about when he anticipates his schedule will be more accommodating, and he’ll probably be very proactive about making plans with you for that time. If your partner is simply not present and not interested, he could very well be pulling away.

4.      Talk of future fades. A few weeks ago, he may have been talking about the two of you taking vacations months in the future. Perhaps he was hinting about starting a family. Recently, though, he hasn’t said a word about the months and years ahead. This could mean he’s beginning to have doubts about your role in his future, and the future of your relationship.

5.      Mutual friends begin acting strangely. If you have some common friends with your partner, particularly if they are very close with him, pay attention to how they behave around you. It’s likely that he has confided in at least one of them if he’s beginning to question whether he wants to stay in the relationship. Notice if they appear uncomfortable at all when you talk to them. Their body language could indicate to you whether your partner has been divulging relationship concerns to them.

These could all be signs that your partner is starting to pull away. Of course, the only way to know for sure is to talk to him about what’s going on. If you sense something is wrong, let him know. Communication is the only way to fully understand how he feels about your relationship, and what you can do to move forward.