Five Signs a Long Distance Relationship Isn’t Right for You

Long distance relationships get a lot of mixed reviews. Some claim they never work out. Others say that it’s worth enduring miles of separation for someone very special. Most people end up concluding that, at the end of day, it is the people involved who ultimately determine whether it works out or not. Some can handle long distance relationships; others are less suited for them. 

Here are five signs a long distance relationship probably isn’t right for you.

You believe long distance relationships never work out.

It’s absolutely essential that both partners have faith in each other and their bond. If you’re the type of person who believes, deep down, that having a partner who’s far away means your relationship is doomed, you should seriously reconsider ever getting involved in long distance romance. Take a moment to reflect on whether you have faith it’ll work. If you honestly believe it won’t due to distance, that belief will likely be a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

You aren’t a strong verbal communicator.

With many miles in between you and your partner, communication becomes incredibly important. You don’t have the same luxury of nonverbal cues like couples who see each other every day. You’re drawn together by your words more than significant others who often cuddle on a couch in silence while watching TV. 

Without strong communication through phone calls, Skype conversations, e-mails, and online messengers, chances are your relationship will struggle. If verbal communication isn’t one of your strengths, you might want to think twice before getting into a relationship with someone who is far away.

You get jealous easily.

A common concern with having a partner who is far away is that the distance makes it easier for him or her to cheat. For that reason, long distance relationships require a lot of trust. If you feel it’s in your nature to be jealous, being with someone long distance could put you through a lot of emotional turmoil. 

This is especially true if you don’t have the utmost confidence in the person you’re with. Unless you fully trust him or her, there’s a good chance jealousy will eat away at the relationship quickly.  

You are broke.

All the travel that comes with these types of relationships gets expensive, even if you’re only a few cities away. While couples who are close can cut corners if they need to, couples who are far apart usually require more funds to sustain the relationship, even if they’re really frugal about what they decide to do when they’re together. 

This is especially true if airfare needs to enter into the picture. If you know that you both don’t have enough disposable income to visit each other regularly, think about whether you want to enter into the hardship of knowing you can rarely see someone you care about a lot.

You aren’t very busy.

If you find that you often rely on your significant other to make up the bulk of your social life, long distance relationships are probably not for you. Many people who do well with long distance partners manage to keep themselves busy; both people have new events to share with their partner, and they’re also occupied enough not to feel very lonely. 

Of course, they miss their boyfriend or girlfriend, but they’re socially active enough to enjoy their life even though their significant other isn’t always there in person. On the contrary, a person whose life revolves around contact with his or her partner can eventually develop resentment because distance tends to make the partner less accessible.

It’s up to you to decide whether a special person in your life is valuable enough that you will endure distance to be with him or her and put in the work necessary to maintain the relationship. 

However, if it’s in your nature to respond poorly to all the things that come with long distance relationships, you should think carefully before getting into one. Even though you want to be with someone badly, there is a chance it still might not work because you’re not suited to have many miles between you and the one you love. 

Is a Breakup on the Horizon? 5 Signs He’s Pulling Away

Without warning, you’re beginning to feel distant from your partner. He used to be loving and attentive, but recently he’s been acting more aloof. Is he just busy, or could he be pulling away from you?

It can be difficult to know for sure, especially if you haven’t known a man very long. However, there are signs many men demonstrate when they’re pulling away from a woman. Here are five signs that he’s probably pulling away from you.

1.      Frequency of contact changes dramatically, and without warning. Each man has a different pace and method for communication. Some get in touch a lot, others may not. Some like to hold conversations over the phone regularly, others stick mostly to texting or email. If you have grown accustomed to a communication routine that stops without warning, this could be a bad sign. Men who want to hold on to a woman, but who know they have a rough week of work ahead, are likely to give their partner a heads up that they will be less available in the upcoming days.

2.      Conversations feel uneasy or forced. Be careful if your conversations flowed effortlessly not too long ago, but now they seem stilted and forced. This especially holds true if they seem to have lost any warmth they once had. These problems can also happen if your man has a lot on his mind, unrelated to you, but the longer it lasts, the more reason you could have to be concerned.

3.      Plans go out the window. Every time you suggest plans for the weekend, he makes an excuse. He never seems keen to offer any plans of his own, either. Even very busy men will make time for a woman they love. If his schedule is so packed that nothing can be arranged, it’s likely he’ll be open about when he anticipates his schedule will be more accommodating, and he’ll probably be very proactive about making plans with you for that time. If your partner is simply not present and not interested, he could very well be pulling away.

4.      Talk of future fades. A few weeks ago, he may have been talking about the two of you taking vacations months in the future. Perhaps he was hinting about starting a family. Recently, though, he hasn’t said a word about the months and years ahead. This could mean he’s beginning to have doubts about your role in his future, and the future of your relationship.

5.      Mutual friends begin acting strangely. If you have some common friends with your partner, particularly if they are very close with him, pay attention to how they behave around you. It’s likely that he has confided in at least one of them if he’s beginning to question whether he wants to stay in the relationship. Notice if they appear uncomfortable at all when you talk to them. Their body language could indicate to you whether your partner has been divulging relationship concerns to them.

These could all be signs that your partner is starting to pull away. Of course, the only way to know for sure is to talk to him about what’s going on. If you sense something is wrong, let him know. Communication is the only way to fully understand how he feels about your relationship, and what you can do to move forward.