Saturday, August 17, 2013

Unable to Sleep After a Bad Breakup? 5 Tips to Help You Snooze

The worst breakups do more than affect your thoughts during the day -- they can leave you unable to sleep at night, too. And restless nights just add to the negative cycle!

If this is happening to you, don't despair. Here are five tips for helping you get to sleep after a breakup.

1. Cut the caffeine

This is pretty standard advice, but at no time is it more important than when you've got a lot on your mind. You can't afford to be amped up from caffeine when you're struggling to sleep. Cut out caffeinated drinks four to six hours before you plan to get shut eye.

2. Get exercise

Again, this advice is pretty standard for those seeking better sleep, but you should take it very seriously in the aftermath of a romantic split. Not only can exercise help you get over the breakup, it forces you to expend energy so you're thoroughly tired at the end of the day.

3. Write down your feelings

Turns out, jotting down emotions can be good for your health. While there is a bit of a divide about how social media plays into this -- does publicizing your emotions have the same benefits, or can be there be backlash? -- most researchers have found that private, expressive writing sessions have physical benefits.

Here's a tip: a few hours before you plan to sleep, write down how you're feeling in a private journal. This can help get toxic emotions off your chest relatively close to when you're going to sleep, but the process won't be so close to bedtime that you'll be wrestling with fresh wounds as you attempt to slip into slumber.

4. Cut yourself some slack

We exist in a society propelled by benchmarks. Often, folks dealing with a broken heart also have the anxiety of wondering: Why am I not over this yet? Shouldn't I be feeling better now? 

This anxiety often compounds the stress of heartbreak!

Next time you're unable to sleep, breathe. Stop judging yourself. You're on your own path -- abandon the benchmarks. This isn't a matter that's resolved "quickly" or "slowly." Focus on recovering one day at a time.

In the quiet stillness of your bedtime routine, remind yourself of this fact.

5. Stretch deeply.

Deep stretches -- like what can be found in yin yoga practice (although they're not referred to as stretches) -- can help you work through darker periods of your life. First, by holding a stretch (or asana, if you're doing yoga) for a long time, you're forced into stillness. You're at one with your mind, forced to contend with the thoughts frantically whirling around and, with practice, you learn to acknowledge and then let go of them.

But there are additional physical perks of deep stretches. Stretches trigger tiny tears in muscles, which releases endorphins and often makes the experience pleasant. It also makes muscles feel more relaxed, which can make sleep more easily attainable.

Next time you find yourself unable to sleep after a bad breakup, try out these tips for getting much-needed slumber. 

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Dealing with a Break-Up: 3 Types of Exercise That Help You Get Over a Painful Split

One of the most challenging parts of life is dealing with a break-up. Sure, it's tough to get over a split with friends and family, but losing a romantic relationship is especially brutal.

A lot of post-breakup stereotypes tend to involve heartbroken former loves who are crying, venting to friends, and devouring tubs of ice cream. These steps all have their place in the grieving cycle!

Here's another thing that can help you get over the loss of a romantic partnership: exercise! Read on for three types of exercise that can help you deal with a break-up.

1. Yoga

Sure, yoga has a fitness component, but its stress-reduction benefits are probably the most valuable for anyone going through a stressful breakup.

The best part is, anyone can practice it. Find sequences that suit your level and respect your edge.

2. Running


Ever heard of "runner's high?" It's where endorphins flood the brain, usually after a grueling run, which leaves you feeling great (even on days when you wake up feeling bleh).

Next time you're wallowing in post-breakup blues, pop on some running shoes and go for a long run. You'll be in a better mental place for it.

3. Swimming


Beyond the physical benefits, swimming has mental benefits too. There is evidence to suggest that water-based exercise improves mood in men and women. 


Relationships end, but your good mood doesn't have to end with them! Exercise is a great way of dealing with a break-up. You'll still have tough days, but establishing a regular exercise routine could make the process easier.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back... When She Hates You!

You may have liked the freedom of being single at first, but now you're constantly wondering how to get your ex girlfriend back. To make matters worse, you're pretty sure she hates you.

Ouch.

It's never easy to win back an ex girlfriend, but when she hates you too? That's a tough situation.

Here are some tips to help you win her back.

Figure out where you messed up.

OK, she hates you. But why? Figure out which of your actions made her so angry. 

(Disclaimer: they should be legitimate reasons. Otherwise you may be trying to get back with a woman who isn't good for you! For example, flirting with other girls all the time? Good reason for her to be angry. Mad about eating your food too slowly? Stay away from her!)

(Second disclaimer: If things ended because you were a jerk, think carefully about whether it's fair to loop her back in.)

Start changing your behavior for real.

Girls can usually tell when you're putting on an act. If you want to change for the better so that you can get your ex girlfriend back, you need to change for real. Do it for you, away from her. 

For example, if she grew concerned that you weren't motivated enough to be her partner because you had just been fired from your job and were partying every day, start motivating yourself! Get your actions in order. Become the motivated man she aspired for you to be. 

(Disclaimer: you must also want to be that kind of man, but perhaps hadn't in the past out for whatever reason. Don't become someone you're not; be the better version of yourself you aspire to be. If she's good for you, chances are she wants the same thing for you.)

Take your time.

It's usually not idea to hop in and out of relationships, but it's even more rocky if one partner has deep emotional baggage about their partner. Take your time with rekindling your romance! Even if she shows hints that she may want to get back together, resist the urge to dive in. It could backfire.

Don't promote jealousy. 

Some men try to flaunt their conquests in front of the woman they want to be with, as though they're trying to say: Look how desirable I am!

For some women, this may work, but think about it: you would only attract the type of woman who wants what she can't have, not what she really wants. To start things on healthier footing, keep jealousy out of the mix. Feel free to date (you're single!), but don't rub it in your ex's face, thinking it will inspire her to run back into your arms. Probably won't work, and will only make things worse.


Know when you're defeated.

She may want nothing to do with you. At least not for a long, long time. If that seems to be the case, don't drag it out. Resist investing loads of emotional energy into a partnership that isn't to be. 

Besides, if you keep going after her, you could completely obliterate your chances of getting back with her some time in the distant future. 

Relationships are complicated, and ending them is even worse. Sometimes men realize what they had after that person is gone, forcing them to frantically wonder: How can I get my ex girlfriend back?!
A good mentality to have when trying to win an ex back, especially if she seems to hate your guts, if the idea that you're making life improvements for you and if she doesn't return, it will be difficult, but you will be able to find someone else