5 Common Mistakes to Avoid on a First Date

First dates are a nerve-wracking experience for many people. Some mentally agonize over the date, hoping that everything goes perfectly. Sometimes, people get so caught up in the tiny details of dating that they fail to notice any major mistakes they make. Read on to learn five mistakes many people make on first dates that you should try to avoid.

Picking a bad location

Most people try to pick a great first date location. They might base their decision on how cool the place is, or how romantic it can be. These are all good reasons for selecting a venue, but you should consider really basic criteria, too. For example, consider how stressful traffic might be in that area on a weekend. Think about whether it’ll be too loud there to hold a conversation. Make sure your date can even eat the food there, or take part in the activities.

In short, a good dating location needs to be, first and foremost, a place where conversation can flow, and where stress will be kept to a minimum. If you lose sight of that, you might wind up in a place that seems amazing in theory, but doesn’t work so well in practice.

Talking about yourself too much

When some people get nervous, they talk. In a dating situation where you are likely to be both nervous and trying to impress someone, there is a good chance you’ll feel compelled to talk about yourself a lot. Try to monitor how much you are talking, and how much of the conversation is about you. Ask questions and listen well. Don’t forget that a date is an opportunity for two people to learn more about each other, not a one-sided lecture.

Talking about heavy topics too soon

While some people are fine with diving right into heavy subjects, most people approach certain topics with a bit of reserve. In most cases, it’s best to avoid talking about things like politics and religion early on. That’s not to say you can’t have conversations that are smart; it’s a great idea to share a bit of wit and knowledge about the world. You should try to keep the conversation relatively light, though.

Bringing up exes

The last thing you want is for someone to think you are not over your last relationship. Bringing up stories about your ex, especially if you do it repeatedly, is a surefire way to turn your date off. Keep talk of your exes to a minimum. Better yet, don’t mention them at all. A first date is the start of something new. There’s no need to tarnish a new beginning with somber talk of your romantic past.

Using your phone

Many people use their phone continuously throughout the day. It’s an understandable habit considering that, for a lot of people, their day is a never-ending string of text messages, voice mails, business calls, and e-mails. However, during a date, that habit must stop. It is difficult to establish fact-to-face rapport if someone is always consulting his or her phone. It is also rude. Put the phone away until the date is over.

A great first date could be the beginning of a new positive chapter in your life. It would be a shame to ruin it by committing a few simple, but common, mistakes. Instead of getting entangled in the details of dating locations and activities, focus your energy on being alert, courteous, and fun.

How to Improve Emotional Compatibility in Your Relationship

Emotions can be difficult to pinpoint. They’re intangible, ever-changing, and highly subjective. They’re also everywhere. Emotions infuse many people’s responses to events, particularly difficult ones. They link one individual to another, in both platonic and romantic relationships. Although emotions are a staple of most people’s lives, though in varying quantities, it can often feel like words fail when trying to convey the most intense of them.  

It’s little wonder, then, that emotional problems can be the root of turmoil in many romantic relationships. One partner may be quick to turn to intense emotion in most circumstances, while the other is more inclined to reflect on situations calmly. One may allow an outburst of emotion to catapult him or her to action, while his or her partner would rather engage in mental preparation before doing anything.

As for the relationship itself, it is not uncommon to encounter a couple where one person requires a lot of explicit emotional expression, while his or her significant other requires very little. So, one partner may need long feeling-centered conversations to feel emotional satisfaction. The other may find those kinds of conversations unnecessary and, at times, even annoying. Conflicting needs about these subjective factors can contribute to endless arguments and frustration.

There are a couple ways to get your emotionally compatibility back on track. The simplest and most organic way is probably to bond through shared experiences. Make an effort to spend quality time together, even when your schedules are hectic. If you allow an endless string of outside obligations to prevent you from sharing meaningful time with the person you love, you’re paving the way for a failed relationship. Even the most demanding of schedules should not prohibit you from sneaking away a few minutes for your partner.

Another way is to tackle the issue head on. Start by mutually recognizing the importance of emotional fulfillment. Even people who would characterize themselves as mostly logical have some type of emotional needs. Next, lay out exactly what your needs are. You can even write them down. Then, share them with each other. You may be surprised at how different your perceived needs are. After this insight into your significant other’s mind and heart, take action. Respond to his or her needs, and praise him or her when they do the same for you.

It takes perseverance to improve the dynamics of emotional compatibility in a relationship. Improvements won’t happen overnight. However, there are steps you can take over time, like verbalizing your needs, responding to your partner’s requests, and putting aside time to enjoy each other’s company while confiding in each another. If you do those things, you’ll be well on your way to making your relationship a very emotionally satisfying aspect of your life.

Is a Breakup on the Horizon? 5 Signs He’s Pulling Away

Without warning, you’re beginning to feel distant from your partner. He used to be loving and attentive, but recently he’s been acting more aloof. Is he just busy, or could he be pulling away from you?

It can be difficult to know for sure, especially if you haven’t known a man very long. However, there are signs many men demonstrate when they’re pulling away from a woman. Here are five signs that he’s probably pulling away from you.

1.      Frequency of contact changes dramatically, and without warning. Each man has a different pace and method for communication. Some get in touch a lot, others may not. Some like to hold conversations over the phone regularly, others stick mostly to texting or email. If you have grown accustomed to a communication routine that stops without warning, this could be a bad sign. Men who want to hold on to a woman, but who know they have a rough week of work ahead, are likely to give their partner a heads up that they will be less available in the upcoming days.

2.      Conversations feel uneasy or forced. Be careful if your conversations flowed effortlessly not too long ago, but now they seem stilted and forced. This especially holds true if they seem to have lost any warmth they once had. These problems can also happen if your man has a lot on his mind, unrelated to you, but the longer it lasts, the more reason you could have to be concerned.

3.      Plans go out the window. Every time you suggest plans for the weekend, he makes an excuse. He never seems keen to offer any plans of his own, either. Even very busy men will make time for a woman they love. If his schedule is so packed that nothing can be arranged, it’s likely he’ll be open about when he anticipates his schedule will be more accommodating, and he’ll probably be very proactive about making plans with you for that time. If your partner is simply not present and not interested, he could very well be pulling away.

4.      Talk of future fades. A few weeks ago, he may have been talking about the two of you taking vacations months in the future. Perhaps he was hinting about starting a family. Recently, though, he hasn’t said a word about the months and years ahead. This could mean he’s beginning to have doubts about your role in his future, and the future of your relationship.

5.      Mutual friends begin acting strangely. If you have some common friends with your partner, particularly if they are very close with him, pay attention to how they behave around you. It’s likely that he has confided in at least one of them if he’s beginning to question whether he wants to stay in the relationship. Notice if they appear uncomfortable at all when you talk to them. Their body language could indicate to you whether your partner has been divulging relationship concerns to them.

These could all be signs that your partner is starting to pull away. Of course, the only way to know for sure is to talk to him about what’s going on. If you sense something is wrong, let him know. Communication is the only way to fully understand how he feels about your relationship, and what you can do to move forward.

5 Signs Your Ex Doesn’t Want You Back

Breaking up is difficult, and it’s even worse when you still want to be with your ex. While some couples do manage to rekindle their romance, there is also a chance that your former significant other doesn’t want you back, however hurtful that may feel. Usually, people will exhibit signs that show the relationship is over in their eyes. Before trying to get back a former flame, you need to figure out whether this person would even be open to dating you again.

Your ex probably doesn’t want you back if he or she:

1.  Tries to cut off all ties. This is one of the most obvious signs. If you never hear from your ex, not even when you’ve tried to make contact, that person is likely trying to move on from the situation. Some people may be tempted to read into cutting ties as an act that, somehow, is actually a sign your ex is still yearning for you. While there may be odd cases where people’s actions are wildly different from their intentions, you should take the sudden distance for what it is: someone taking steps to be less close to you than she or she once was.

2.   Responds to you with less urgency. Think about how reliably your ex got back to you when he or she was your partner. If the time between e-mails, texts, and phone calls is much more drawn out now, you’re getting a clear sign that you’re no longer a priority. You should also consider the methods used to get in touch with you. If lengthy phone conversations were a staple of your past, but now you’re only getting brief texts or e-mails, it’s a sign your ex wants to keep things more impersonal than they once were.

3.   Only communicates about professional and financial matters. Sometimes couples who have been together for a long time have many entanglements that don’t just vanish once the relationship is over. They may own property, for example, or perhaps even share a business. In these cases, it makes sense that your ex would reach out promptly and courteously about these matters. However, if your ex stops the conversation once it turns personal, he or she probably doesn’t want you back.

4.   Avoids topics related to your past. Some people may be comfortable keeping an ex around as a friend, but chances are they’ll keep the conversations light and platonic. If your ex squirms whenever you try to bring up your prior romantic relationship, or immediately changes the subject, that’s a sign he or she is trying to get beyond that part of the past.

5.   Has a new love interest. Rebounding does happen, where forlorn lovers rush into the arms of the first person who shows them affection. However, if your ex is with someone with whom they appear happy, you have to face the facts: you’re not going to get your ex back. That person has moved on; it’s probably best for you to try to do the same.

Moving on from a relationship can be difficult, especially when you’re still into your ex. It’s emotionally draining, though, to remain invested in someone who doesn’t want you back. If your former partner is showing signs that they are moving on, you should try to do the same.