How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back... When She Hates You!

You may have liked the freedom of being single at first, but now you're constantly wondering how to get your ex girlfriend back. To make matters worse, you're pretty sure she hates you.

Ouch.

It's never easy to win back an ex girlfriend, but when she hates you too? That's a tough situation.

Here are some tips to help you win her back.

Figure out where you messed up.

OK, she hates you. But why? Figure out which of your actions made her so angry. 

(Disclaimer: they should be legitimate reasons. Otherwise you may be trying to get back with a woman who isn't good for you! For example, flirting with other girls all the time? Good reason for her to be angry. Mad about eating your food too slowly? Stay away from her!)

(Second disclaimer: If things ended because you were a jerk, think carefully about whether it's fair to loop her back in.)

Start changing your behavior for real.

Girls can usually tell when you're putting on an act. If you want to change for the better so that you can get your ex girlfriend back, you need to change for real. Do it for you, away from her. 

For example, if she grew concerned that you weren't motivated enough to be her partner because you had just been fired from your job and were partying every day, start motivating yourself! Get your actions in order. Become the motivated man she aspired for you to be. 

(Disclaimer: you must also want to be that kind of man, but perhaps hadn't in the past out for whatever reason. Don't become someone you're not; be the better version of yourself you aspire to be. If she's good for you, chances are she wants the same thing for you.)

Take your time.

It's usually not idea to hop in and out of relationships, but it's even more rocky if one partner has deep emotional baggage about their partner. Take your time with rekindling your romance! Even if she shows hints that she may want to get back together, resist the urge to dive in. It could backfire.

Don't promote jealousy. 

Some men try to flaunt their conquests in front of the woman they want to be with, as though they're trying to say: Look how desirable I am!

For some women, this may work, but think about it: you would only attract the type of woman who wants what she can't have, not what she really wants. To start things on healthier footing, keep jealousy out of the mix. Feel free to date (you're single!), but don't rub it in your ex's face, thinking it will inspire her to run back into your arms. Probably won't work, and will only make things worse.

Know when you're defeated.

She may want nothing to do with you. At least not for a long, long time. If that seems to be the case, don't drag it out. Resist investing loads of emotional energy into a partnership that isn't to be. 

Besides, if you keep going after her, you could completely obliterate your chances of getting back with her some time in the distant future. 

Relationships are complicated, and ending them is even worse. Sometimes men realize what they had after that person is gone, forcing them to frantically wonder: How can I get my ex girlfriend back?!

A good mentality to have when trying to win an ex back, especially if she seems to hate your guts, if the idea that you're making life improvements for you and if she doesn't return, it will be difficult, but you will be able to find someone else. 

Why Your Ex Hates You -- The Truth

Your last relationship didn't end well. A few months have gone by since the break-up and you're hoping you can at least be friends with your former love. But there's a huge problem with that plan -- your ex ignores you, or worse, seems to flat-out hate your guts. So, where's this animosity coming from? Here's the ugly truth about why your ex hates you.

Are you an evil ex? That could explain why your ex hates you.

You caused irreparable harm.

Think back to your relationship. How did you treat your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife? If not very well, you may be underestimating how difficult it is to get over really bad treatment, especially when it came from a partner who was supposed to be a source of love and support. In some cases, the damage may be so deep, things won't ever be fully right.

You won't give them space.

You broke up for a reason. Chances are, they need time away from you to process what happened and to make the next step in their life. Give them their time; if you don't, they could grow to hate you for it.

You lied. A lot.

Deception cuts deep, especially when it's perpetuated by those you love. You may be attempting a new lease on life, but let's face it, your past plays a role in shaping how you're perceived. It'll take time for new (positive) habits to be the new norm. And until your honest routines becoming the new normal, residual habits (that were once damaging) could help explain why your ex still hates you, or at the least ignores you.

You embarrassed them in a big way.

It may have felt good after a squabble to embarrass your ex at work, around respected peers, or their parents, especially in a bold, intensely malicious way. But it didn't feel good to them. These kinds of actions quickly snowball into break-up territory, and if this kind of act brought your former relationship to its knees, chances are your ex won't want to be pals for some time.

Painful relationships take time to heal. Until they do, review the old barbs from your previous romantic union for insight into why your ex hates you. And if you want to stop the hate, if you can, you need to work hard at developing new habits that show you've grown.